|| H O P E ||

Sometimes I lose hope.

Sometimes I need hope.

Sometimes I feel heavy and lost.

Sometimes I contemplate what I’m doing here. What’s the point of day in and day out doing the same, old, mundane things. I get so discouraged. I get so tired; physically and spiritually. It takes me to a place of wishing. Wishing I was there, not here. Wishing I had this, not that. Wondering why I feel like i’m the only one in this boat, why I feel like I’m not passionate about anything. And after only days of this mindset, it quickly begins to be the new habit of my life. I’ve written about this before; we are not born with Godly habits. On the contrary actually, we are born in complete resistance to God. That’s why the bible talks about beating our souls into submission to obedience to God. We are killing our souls; the sin-ridden, angry, self-seeking part of our being.

It’s this same part of us that turns to hopelessness, to rebellion, at the flip of a switch, because that’s what’s natural for us. And that’s why it’s so important that we REMIND OUR SOULS WHO GOD IS. 

SO. To hannah, to whomever is reading this and it resinates in your spirit, let’s start reminding our souls who God is and how we play a part in his kingdom.


If I am living my life as a believer but am not bringing God into every circumstance of my life, then, with that circumstance there is going to be that sense of inevitability, that sense of hopelessness.

Hosea 2:15  “And now, here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to start all over again. I’m taking her back out into the wilderness where we had out first date, and i’ll court her. I’ll give her bouquets of roses. I’ll turn heartbreak Valley into acres of HOPE. she’ll respond like she did as a young girl, those days when she was fresh out of captivity.”

Romans 5:5  “And this HOPE will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his LOVE.”

Psalm 71: 5-7  “For you have been my hope, Sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth. From birth I have relied on you; you brought me forth from my mother’s womb. I will ever praise you. I have become a sign to many, you are my strong refuge.”

The bottom line is this, people. Our spirits THIRST for God. Our spirits can be quenched by NOTHING other than the spirit of God breathing life and love into our being. Our rebellion and our pride however, can quench his spirit. He has given us the sweet gift of choosing him. What is love without choice. We love because he first loved us. We breath because He first breathed into us. IN HIM WE LIVE. IN HIM WE MOVE. IN HIM WE HAVE OUR BEING. It’s so amazing to me how quickly His spirit comes to my aid when my heart is laid low. When I am not putting on a front, but in the deepest, truest part of me I’m saying “God, I don’t know how I got here. Show me yourself once again.” and then that friend, that constant companion begins to whisper love into my being. The love that resinates HOPE. The love that brings everything back into focus.

Life is not about work. Life is not about where you are. Life is not about success or failure. Life is not about finding love in someone else. Life is not about finding what you’re good at. Life is about being loved by God, being moved by grace to walk into the person God has created you to be. When we step into constant communion with the Father, he aligns our focus to lock eyes on him. What he’s passionate about, we begin to be passionate about. What he loves, we love. What he hates, we hate. What moves him, moves us. We have hope when you realize we are loved beyond measure, when we realize grace empowers us to stand unashamed. How could we possibly find hope in anything else…



|| B E A U T Y. I N. D R U D G E R Y. ||

Also… Add to your faith… 2 Peter 1:5

“In the matter of drudgery. Peter said in this passage that we have become “partakers of the divine nature” and that we should now be “giving all diligence,” concentrating on forming godly habits (2 Peter 1:4-5). We are to “add” to our lives all that character means. No one is born either naturally or supernaturally with character; it must be developed. Nor are we born with habits- we have to form godly habits on the basis of the new life God has placed within us. We are not meant to be seen as God’s perfect, bright-shining examples, but to be seen as the everyday essence of ordinary life exhibiting the miracle of His grace. Drudgery is the test of genuine character. The greatest hindrance in our spiritual life is that we will only look for big things to do. Yet, “Jesus . . . took a towel and . . . began to wash the disciples’ feet . . .” (John 13:3-5).

We all have those times when there are no flashes of light and no apparent thrill to life, where we experience nothing but the daily routine with its common everyday tasks. The routine of life is actually God’s way of saving us between our times of great inspiration which come from Him. Don’t always expect God to give you His thrilling moments, but learn to live in those common times of the drudgery of life by the power of God.

It is difficult for us to do the “adding” that Peter mentioned here. We say we do not expect God to take us to heaven on flowery beds of ease, and yet we act as if we do! I must realize that my obedience even in the smallest detail of life has all of the omnipotent power of the grace of God behind it. If I will do my duty, not for duty’s sake but because I believe God is engineering my circumstances, then at the very point of my obedience all of the magnificent grace of God is mine through the glorious atonement by the Cross of Christ”

|| F R O M T H E I N S I D E O U T ||

“The paralyzed man is looking up at Jesus, Jesus is looking at the paralyzed man, the friends are looking at Jesus looking at the paralyzed man. They all agree that the man is paralyzed. They just don’t agree where. Man always looks at the external, but Jesus is always focused on the internal. When Jesus looks down at this man, he doesn’t so much see a paralytic body as much as he sees a paralyzed soul. He understands that in this moment there is only one thing that he can do to heal this man. It’s not going to be what’s done physically, it’s going to have to be done spiritually. What kind of loving God would allow an external body to die and let a man walk out of his presence never to be seen again. Whenever God wants to heal someone, he will always start from the inside and works his way out. If He ever wants to do something supernatural in your life it will never be done externally before he has the chance to do it internally. “My child, your sins are forgiven”. The greatest miracle that could ever happen is not physical, it’s spiritual. A heart of stone turning to a heart a flesh, Jesus becoming the Lord of your life, sins never to be remembered again, that’s the miracle. The miracle is God coming to earth in human form, speaking truth to humanity and gives us the opportunity to know him. The miracle is Jesus becoming the lord of your life and saving your soul, to eternally know him for the rest of unending eternity.

|| A R E U R E A L L Y W H O L E ||

I’ve been thinking about something a lot lately and in my mind it’s kind of controversial so i’m writing it out here to see if it makes more sense.

Having grown up in church and around christians my WHOLE life, literally, I’ve heard a lot of sermons. Sermons of brokenness, of hope, of cripples, of apathy, of conviction. I’m realizing that I work in a way that is always trying to work up to perfection. I can see myself as a people pleaser. Not because I want to do things the way people think I should do them but because I just rather not have conflict. I don’t want anyone disappointed or frustrated with me. I see myself taking this approach before the Lord, a lot…

I quite frequently come as a broken, half hearted person. Constantly repenting, wanting to spend as much time in the word as possibly as if to be adequate, by means of hoping God will notice me. I’ve been wondering a lot lately if we have missed something. I know I’ve missed something. Growing up I think what my Young, forming  mind understood was this, “you are broken, in constant need of a savior, and there’s quite literally nothing you can do about that”. I know I know, sounds controversial right? Because in all honesty, thats true. In my human nature, my natural state, I am broken. I am in need of a savior. I am in a constant battle. I know I’m not the only one who battles all these things. But here’s where I think the people of God have missed something:

We are no longer broken. We are no longer bruised. We are no longer crippled people walking around with our tails between our legs, being tormented by the demons in our mind. At least we shouldn’t be. I think in church we talk so much about the salvation side of things, how humans have failed and stray and fall. Which hear me out, PLEASE, salvation is absolutely necessary in this story of completion, but I just feel like it often stops there. We can’t only look at the saving grace of Jesus, we have to look at the perfecting power and the friendship and work of Jesus that we just stepped into. Being saved by God’s grace is the first, continual step.

God has given me this revelation of being a co-worker. I am a co-worker with JESUS!! If you have decided to follow jesus, and I don’t mean you only believe in God, I mean you have decided to sell your life for the purpose of Jesus’ work, you are now a co-worker with him. It’s like this, take where you work for example. I worked in customer service for about 4 years. I worked hard, made sure the customers were happy and taken care of. I was friendly and intentional to know them. I had a good attitude for the most part and worked well with my co-workers. By doing these things, my boss noticed and rewarded me with higher responsibilities, higher pay, and simple rewards like gift cards here and there. He simply had good things to say about me. God is a good boss. He notices his workers. Those who are not doing much work he will convict and encourage to work harder. His good workers, he rewards with higher responsibilities and greater work. You have been given spiritual gifts, power and resources beyond human comprehension in order to bring chaos into order for the purpose of Gods kingdom. The greatest detriment in this universe is satan keeping us as broken people. If he can keep us hurt, unforgiving, half-hearted, blind people, he can keep us from the purpose God has put inside of us.

SIDENOTE: if you don’t know what that purpose is, it’s this, it’s a beautiful love story between us and God, ultimately, to bring us back into relationship with him, that is your main purpose. To know God and to know the love he has for you.

We are so focused on our feelings and our own lives that I know we completely miss the point of God putting power inside of us by the Holy spirit. I heard someone say once that “Jesus didn’t pay a price to get you to heaven, he paid a price to get heaven inside of you.” Y’ALL! The living and active HOLY SPIRIT of God is working inside of us, complete power, complete perfection. We don’t need to be bruised and broken anymore. Don’t you realize that when Jesus told the lame man to “stand up, pick up your mat and walk”, the man actually had to stand up and walk, to physically put forth the effort to make it real? We will never fully conquer if we don’t stand up. We will never be all in. I DON’T WANT TO BE THAT KIND OF PERSON.

It’s time for the people of God to stand tall in their perfection. Because listen, the bible says that we are made right, that our spirits are perfected in the blood of Jesus. We need to stop acting like we aren’t because that alone is prideful says to jesus what he did on the cross wasn’t enough, that we have to continue to work for grace. We don’t. God sees jesus when he looks at me and you. He sees completion, perfection, and wholeness. I wonder if he stands there baffled and frustrated that we won’t just look up and realize we’re covered. He doesn’t see broken, crippled people anymore, he sees jesus’ perfection covering us from head to toe. I wonder if he’s on the edge of his seat in excitement just waiting for us to grasp the crazy ride he has for us if we’d only step into his story and his purpose of life.

I don’t demean struggles, hurt and pain. We are still in decaying bodies, living in a decaying, broken world. I just know that we’re missing the fullness of Jesus. I know I am. And looking around, I can make a decent judgment call and say jesus followers around me are missing it too.

“God, would we be a people strong and tall and mighty! Bold and zealous for your work. You have given us every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realm and you have sealed us with a seal of the holy spirit to do the works of your kingdom in power and authority. God I ask that you would put heaven inside of me so that the dead can see you. I pray that there would be an awakening in your people around the world to stand tall in their completion. Continue the work in us that you started, bringing the dead to life. amen.”


Do you ever feel like sometimes you’re not even in control of yourself? Sometimes I feel like I end up doing things I don’t even want to do or need to do but I continuously do it anyway and the results are always the same. Insufficient. Unnecessary. Dumb. Probably 90% of the time my days are driven by the emotions I’m feeling. If I’m bored I eat. I watch too much Netflix. I sleep more than necessary, when I want, when I have time. If I want candy I go buy candy. If I want shoes I go buy shoes. If I feel lonely I spend countless amounts of time wishing I was married or lived somewhere else doing something else. I’m at this place where I feel like God is the last thing on my priority list because I don’t often “FEEL” Him, so I’m like well “he takes more work, more effort, more time so i’ll just do what’s easy right now.” This has been my life for a while now and it’s catching up to me again. All because that’s how I feel. I do what I want when I want. For some people that doesn’t seem like a big deal, like, yeah whatever, it’s your life why wouldn’t you.

But here’s the thing. It’s really not my life anymore. I gave my life to jesus years ago and now he says there should be fruit in my life that looks like Christ. But He doesn’t say that in a burdensome way. Yet, to me it seems so hard though. How do I control my heart? What is my heart? Can I really deny my emotions and do something else. 1 John tells me I can.

1 John 3:20 says “WHENEVER our hearts criticize us, God is GREATER than our heart, and He knows everything.”

Our heart tell us things that are not always true, because our emotions and how we feel are so intertwined. MIND. WILL. EMOTIONS. They go together. So can we find hope? Can I find hope in changing this!? Can I come to a place where I know I can take control of my thoughts, actions and body and submit them to God. He said I can. He said that he is GREATER than how I feel and react. We renew our mind THROUGH HIS WORD! I have to be in His word if I want to see what God sees, to think what He thinks. I have to take his thoughts, his words, his example to replace my finite thoughts, words and lifestyle. God is not an emotional flaky God, he doesn’t do things in reaction or feeling, truth is truth. When I’m not in his word, when I’m not abiding in him, I’m the only voice in my head, or even more my heart is the only voice in my head and more times than not it tells me to do things contrary to God’s way.

Reading my bible has nothing to do with good principle, no it’s “My thoughts are haunting me and they are telling me stuff that is not true.” I have to go to his word, HIS THOUGHTS, to refresh and bring peace to my thoughts. DO I BELIEVE MY GOD IS GREATER THAN MY HEART?

That’s my only hope. trusting and believing that God is greater than my feelings. That I can get back up again because God knows me even better than I know myself and he loves me deeply and calls me up again and again. “For the righteous will completely fall, but they will rise again” proverbs 24:16 and it’s not because of me but because of what Jesus accomplished on the cross. We are righteous because of Christ’s free gift. “He who knew no sin, BECAME sin, so that WE would become the righteousness of God through Christ Jesus.” He became our wrong so that we would become His right. I AM RIGHTEOUS. Not based on what I do, it is simply a gift I accept. The hand of Gods blessing, favor and approval, is on my life. Gods righteousness is greater than my fickle heart and emotions. His hand will not leave.